Devesh Batra, you will be missed!!

In this day and age when life expectancy of a man is around 85 years, death of a person at the age of 54 is undoubtedly a shocking news. Unfortunately this shock came to me early this week when I received a text message stating that my friend Devesh Batra is no more.

I don't remember how I first met Devesh, but I remember that when I founded ASAP, NJ (Association of South Asian Professionals) in early 2000s, Devesh and his sister Suchitra, were one of the first to join the organization. Over next weeks and months we became good friends not only because we shared the one thing that was common amongst ASAP member - that we were single and bored - but also because Devesh was a genuinely nice guy who was always there to help people. When ever I had any issue - whether it was a computer networking issue - of which I had many - or issue related to an esoteric topic like immigration, Devesh was a fountain of knowledge, always ready to help.

In the early days of ASAP, we had many potlucks organized in Devesh's house or mine, attended by Devesh and Suchitra. Later, when he got married to Shachi, ASAP became a good way to integrate his bride into the network of friends. Almost every other week we would meet in someone or other home, whether it was Oumila's home, or Rohit's or Ann's or Dipti's or Vijee's - Devesh and Shachi became fixtures in our parties. Devesh had a large library of music and he would often become the un-official DJ of our parties.

Then Nidhi arrived, and the venue of our meetings changed to Durga Mandir. My life had also changed with Madhu and Jaya entering my life, and now instead of attending ASAP parties, we moved on to going to Durga Mandir regularly. Devesh and Shachi (and Nidhi of course) would often be there, volunteering their time. We would arrive to Durga Mandir 45 minutes to an hour early so that Jaya, Nidhi, Sasha and Anika could run around and play while waiting for Aarti. The kids grew up knowing each other through those early years attending Durga Mandir Sunday Aarti and langars. 

Devesh and Shachi lived in the same neighborhood of Smith Crossing, so it wasn't that unusual for us to see each other on walks or when taking kids around on Halloween nights. But Devesh was also my chief trouble shooter when it came to technical issues. One time I was trying to establish a home network and I called Devesh for help. "Come on over", he said. "Let me show you the network I have installed in my home". Those were early days of home networking but Devesh had put a sophisticated network in his house, where you could watch any movie in his collection, and access any files from any where in the house. The server itself was in the basement, made out of a computer that he had build himself from parts that he had bought on the internet. Devesh was such a gifted tech nerd, and he wore that label with pride!

After leaving Bristol-Myers Squibb (BMS), I left for California in 2012 and the family soon followed. We lost touch with the Batras, and other than an occasional face book post, I didn't hear much about Devesh. But when we returned in 2017, the Batras were still here in Pennington, active as always in the Indian circle of friends. At the Diwali function in 2018, our daughter Jiya was going to showcase a dance she had been studying with Chetna. And who do I find managing the audio visual equipment? Devesh of course, lending his time and talent as always.

We no longer lived in the same neighborhood so seeing each other regularly became a challenge. Then I heard that Devesh had lost his job and we spoke briefly about the stress of leaving a company in which one had invested the best years of their lives. I tried to assure him that not only would he find a better job, my own experience was that my life had become much richer once I had left the safety net of BMS. Devesh was entrepreneurial so he got re-hired as a consultant and life kept going. 

Soon both Joshis and Batras entered the 'college' era with both Jaya and Nidhi graduating high school within a year of each other. One day I learned that Nidhi had joined Johns Hopkins and that the Batras had left New Jersey. We both got busy in the humdrum routine of life and lost touch with each other.

Then last week came the shocking news -  Devesh was no more. 

"Impossible!" I thought. "Devesh is so young! It just can't be!" Alas the news was true. My thoughts immediately went to Nidhi and Shachi, but my main connection to the Batra family was Devesh and I had neither Nidhi nor Shachi's contact information. I reached out to Suchitra with a condolence message, half hoping that the information was wrong. "No one has been able to come to terms with it", was her response. 

So it was true. 

Then someone forwarded the information on the Service being held for Devesh. 

The Service, which was held at Chandler Funeral Home in Delaware, was a modest Hindu ceremony attended by a large crowd. I did not know anyone there except for Shachi, Nidhi and Suchitra, but there were over 200 people in the room. Clearly Devesh had made many more friends in his new home town, and many of them had come to say goodbye to their young friend. It was emotional to see Nidhi performing the religious rites to send her father off to the next world. Although it must have been gut wrenching, Nidhi closely followed the priest's instructions and performed the rituals with dignity and grace, staying strong and holding back tears. Her voice may have wavered once or twice but she held her emotions in check to thank the friends and family who had arrived to say good bye to her father. Hindu rites were followed by a beautiful singing of Ardas by Sikh friends, and the event ended with a floral Shrdhanjali by the attendees. 

I know Devesh that we weren't in touch these the last few years. I wish we had stayed in touch more, but my friend know that you have left a big hole in our hearts and we will  miss you terribly. We have lost you too soon - 54 is no age to leave us. But mortality is a very real thing and your loss has only reinforced the almost trite message that every day is precious, that we should make the most of today for no one knows what tomorrow will bring.

Stay smiling my friend, in whatever dimension you are in. May you find love and happiness in the after-life, the way you showered it on all of us here in this life. RIP Devesh.